I have got a confession. The not barking thing is a highly developed strategy to help me convince mom I am not a dog. I need to do that so I can walk all over her and get spoiled rotten. For the most part it works. She refers to me as “her boy”. She never uses the “dog” word. I had a close call a couple of weeks ago when she kept telling me I smelled like a “dog”. I was getting worried. But she solved the problem with a “dog” bath. Of course she paid someone [who most likely can afford a big screen TV] to “groom” me. Funny – dad said it was a “dog” bath; mom said I got groomed. Kind of like a boy would get. Anyways after the grooming I didn’t smell like a “dog”. I was back to being “her boy”. Now dad is another story. He is working real hard to turn me into a “dog”. If only he knew how silly he looked when we gives me “barking” lessons. I know what he is up to when he encourages me to jump in big rain puddles – like he did after the big rains on Sunday. Of course I enjoy doing that. He just hasn’t figured out that if I start to smell like a “dog”, mom will pay the nice lady [who was a big screen TV] to “groom” me. In fact yesterday I tried to take matters into my own hands. Tuesday is “grooming” day at daycare and I tried to sneak into the grooming area. Almost accomplished my mission; got caught at the last minute and did not get “groomed”. It was a good move; mom thought it was funny and completely forgot I smelled like a “dog”. In fact I think I got extra hugs and snacks for that story. Of course with mom all I have to do is give her that special “sad eye look” and I get whatever I want. Mom – do we really need dad around the house?